Rooted · Built on the Rock

The slides and lesson plans are completely ready and downloadable, but for the first 18 months we’re only walking the Married Track — we won’t carry expectations for two tracks at once.

The reason is practical: a single person comes alone, so “family to family” doesn’t hold, and the chain of multiplication breaks (he’d have to marry first before he could walk the next family). So the Single Track changes the unit: one family opens its door and brings 3–4 young adults into its own home. That isn’t a compromise, it’s an upgrade — what single young adults are missing most is seeing, with their own eyes, what a real and healthy Christian home actually looks like.

In these two seasons, the home itself is the curriculum. A hundred lectures on how to choose a spouse do less than watching, at our dinner table, how the two of us make up after a fight.

All sixteen core items have two columns: column A, “how much do I want this in him,” and column B, “how much of it am I.” Wherever the gap is 2 or more, that’s this person’s homework — nobody has to judge anything. The page says it by itself.

And that is exactly what “become the right person before you meet the right one” looks like as a number.

Week 1 (this season) fills in column B only, “who I am now” — not one question about choosing a spouse, so it doesn’t violate what Rooted is for.
Week 8 (Found) is when column A gets filled: the person I want.
Week 14 you fill column B again and lay all three side by side: did I change in these fourteen weeks? And would the person I want, want who I am now?

You have to finish answering for yourself before you’ve earned the right to say what you want.

○ Goes to the host family: spiritual rhythm, character, freedom and screens, family of origin, vision.
✉ Sealed, for the pastor only: addiction, trauma, safety, pressure to marry — the host family does not open it.
☒ For yourself only, never handed in: the person on my mind right now, the sentence I’m most afraid of, when I feel loneliest.

That ☒ layer never enters any answer code — the page can’t produce it, at the level of the code. The host family will never know who likes whom, so they can never be tempted to play matchmaker. And the moment someone is asked the right question, they have already been known — it doesn’t have to be handed to anyone.

Open the Mirror Inventory →

• Session 1: look honestly at your own screen time — no judgment, just seeing it.
• Along the way: check in daily on iPray and slowly “trade out” a little of the scrolling — bring in light rather than making a vacuum.
• Session 7: look back — over these weeks, how much more of my attention went to God, and to people?

Six sessions of content plus a seventh to gather it up and look back. Seven is the number of completeness in Scripture — God worked six days, and on the seventh He rested and looked back and “saw that it was very good” (Genesis 1:31–2:3). The seventh gathering is exactly that: a sabbath-style looking back, covenanting, and sending.

• In the room, the phone serves presence — use it for polls and interaction, and turn it face down when it’s time to look at each other.
• Outside the room, the phone serves growth — audiobooks on the commute, devotions on iPray, turning in your reflections.
• The point isn’t managing the phone, it’s managing the heart — “where does your heart go once it’s unlocked.”

• You’re not the teacher, you’re the one walking with them: less explaining, more asking, more listening, more accepting.
• Keep it safe: what’s said in the group stays in the group; make the sensitive questions anonymous, and never force anyone to share.
• Pastoral backstop: if someone lets a wound show, follow up one-on-one afterward, and refer to a pastor or counselor when it’s needed.
• Pray first: before every gathering, pray for the ones coming.